Bringing the World to Wisdom

Written for BBC Radio 5 Live after the Arch-Druid had suggested that the Arch-Bishop of Canterbury move the HQ of the Anglican Church to Newport as it "had just been made a city solely with that purpose in mind"!

This lead to a truly crazed live interview/arguement with a Canterbury City PR Person who thought I was arguing for the move in good faith, not mere devilment.

By the way, St. Gwynllyw (aka St. Woolos) in Newport's own saint, canonised for converting the whole population of Gwent by threatening to cut the heads off anyone who did'nt!

It's this sort of "hands on" religion that is so lacking in the Church of England these days.

Bringing the World to Wisdom.

The tools Augustine used
When converting English heathens
Was the sanction of Pope Gregory,
And the power of the word,
But not Gwynllyw!
When St. Woolos went converting
He brought the light of heaven
On the sharp end of his sword!

When Augustine went a-preaching,
With a Roman condescension,
He was driven out of Dorset
With a fish tail on his coat,
But not Gwynllyw!
If they'd tried that on St. Woolos
They'd have heard the angels singing
As he took `em round the throat!

Thus St. Augustine learned that,
When dealing with the heathen,
Their hearts and minds won't follow
If you've only ifs and buts,
But not Gwynllyw!
For the lesson of St. Woolos is
You'll bring the world to wisdom
If you've got it by the nuts!